I don’t want this anymore. I want to be alone. The feeling will never be the same. Heart break truly is a vicious cycle, that I am now inflicting instead of feeling. I just want to be alone. I’ve always needed to be alone. I just don’t know how to be alone. & now I’ve brought a good man into the middle of my chaos. Help.
Still trying, still pushing. Still waiting for the next this, or the next that.
what i never
learned
from my mother
was that
just because someone desires you
does
not mean they value you.
desire is the kind of thing that
eats you
and
leaves you starving.
(via marfmellow)
I’m so quick to decide that giving up completely & living my life the fuck it way is how to deal with things…& then I have these moments. These moments in my head where I figure it all out, & know that all I can do is hope that things go accordingly. & by “go accordingly” I mean I don’t do things that will prevent them from coming into fruition rather than allowing them to bloom.
Wish me luck, wish me wisdom, wish me sanity.
Xoxo.
Mapping things out. Trying to be realistic. Hoping to make things better, in the long run. Struggling in the moment might be the only choice. Sacrifices.
