I feel like jumping off a fucking bridge.
Don’t know exactly how to articulate this feeling precisely, because it’s more than any other feeling I’ve ever exaggerated or added way too much emphasis to. All I know for sure is that I am in fact a terribly sad person. I am constantly fighting off the darkest of depressions and I am so tired of doing it. I’ve never had a day where for at least one moment I didn’t want to give up. How am I supposed to heal something like that?
Lately I’ve felt so disconnected. I feel like I’ve given up on myself and it seems like everyone has done the same. I go through my days completely detached and I stay up all night in a haze. Someone show me how to feel again. I don’t want to be numb anymore.
…since my post about health & bettering myself, I’ve had like 4 chocolate bars & bought another pack of Newports. Really, there’s just no will in me.
…because I paid off all of my fee’s in hopes to get rid of all my holds, & indeed did that. However, I still can’t add shit because of “departmental restrictions”, & I’m told to contact admissions. Obviously admissions is closed because it’s 12:26 am, but the system sure was awake to take my money. When I go up there tomorrow this better be handled. Not that there is a wide variety of shit to add or anything since classes are at a negative for how many people can be enrolled, but none the less. Hmmph.
…back to finishing up my recorded Teen Mom episode from last night.